A Second Family
by perfectwolf
Summary: A family loves and hates, screams and laughs, fights and hugs, accuses and forgives, cries and smiles, but of all things a family is supporting. It doesn't matter how poor you may be, as long as you have a family, you're rich.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Sorry this took so long, for the first time ever, i actually have chapters done before posting. It's amazing really. Anyways thank ILoveJorja for betaing. **

"Eric, you're still my one and only," Sara assured herself, speaking to the picture on her desk. It was an old picture, somewhat faded and yellow, of her and a boy. Eric was the guy she had promised to love forever, who had stolen her heart and kept it for the last 23 years. And up until now, there were no doubts as to whom she loved.

But now, there were doubts. She was moving to a whole new state just for a man. She was leaving what everything she had just for him. And though any other person would admit that they had a crush on him, she just couldn't, because that would mean breaking her promise. Sara couldn't fall for another guy, it was just impossible. This was just a career boost. Well, that was her excuse anyway.

Plus, what else did she have to lose? Her friends? There weren't many. Her pride? There wasn't much to begin with. Her family? No, definitely not her family. Sara's biological family was gone. And the one person she considered to be her real family, well, she was a different story. She was the little that Sara had left.

As a single woman who wanted a child, Shannon adopted Sara after her parents died. Shannon was kind and gave her everything she ever wanted. But there was one thing Shannon never allowed Sara. And that was science.

Two months after the adoption was finalized, Sara found a book about biology and started reading it. It was one of the few times Shannon yelled at her. She told her never to have anything to do with science, that it only brought bad things and unhappiness. In grade school, Shannon only allowed her to take the barest minimum of science courses in order to graduate.

As much as Shannon hated the subject, Sara loved it. When she decided to major in physics, her mother begged her not to.

"Why do you hate science so much?"

"It brings bad memories and unhappiness."

She always wondered what had happened so long ago that made her mother hate science so much. Of course she never asked.

"Please, Sara. I beg you, don't major in Physics. It'll "

"I love it though. Why can't you understand? Please, I promise I'll be just fine."

She gave in, in the end. Sara remembered, while she took down her diploma from the wall. But it was the start of the sadness. Every time she saw her mother after that, she could see sadness lurking in her eyes. As if a ghost was haunting her, and wouldn't let her be free.

When Sara became a CSI she tried to convince her to do something else. When she refused to do so, Shannon accepted it. But she never was the same.

"I'm going to Las Vegas to work as a CSI."

"To be a scientist."

"Yes."

"Please Sara, if there's any way I can change your mind."

"There isn't."

"Science, it'll just bring you "

"Unhappiness. I don't believe that. I think science is what moves people forward."

She still loved Sara; there was no doubt in that. She was her only daughter. But the look in her eyes said, "I lost you." Sara knew she was breaking her mother's heart. But she had to move to Vegas. Why, she didn't fully understand. "Perhaps I'm looking for a reason to prove that science is good," Sara reasoned.

The last thing she did before she left her apartment for the last time was take those two pictures out of their frames and put them into a book the one of Sara and Eric from when they were young kids, and the one of her and her mother when she graduated high school. She had to keep the pictures of the two people who cared about her, the two people who loved her. She gently placed both photos in her book. "Eric, you're still the only one I love." She was going to Vegas, to start anew.

A/N The chapters get longer, i promise


	2. Chapter 2

It was only her first week on the job and already Sara missed her home. Not that she regretted moving, but she did miss Shannon. She felt bad about their last conversation. Every day she went home, showered, ate, and then went to bed. She missed talking with somebody, somebody who cared; she missed sharing stories about their days. Sure, she had met some new people whom she worked with. And, yes, they all seemed nice, but when you work with them, there's not much to discuss other than your past, and that was something she was not touching.

Sara made her way to her new apartment and immediately stepped into the shower, letting the hot water relax her muscles after a long day of being on her hand and knees. It was the phone that interrupted her quiet time. Hastily stepping out of the water, she grabbed her phone in hopes it was Shannon.

"Sidle."

"Sara?"

Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of not Shannon's, but Grissom's voice.

"Grissom." She tried to sound nonchalant.

"I was wondering, would you like to catch breakfast? We need to discuss some of your paperwork."

Paperwork? "Sure, uh, where?"

"The diner. Can you be there in 20?"

"Yeah, I, uh, I'll meet you there," Sara stammered.

She didn't know why, but at the thought of having a meal with Grissom, she became like a child waiting for their next Show and Tell. It couldn't happen soon enough. Was it so bad that she was so eager to meet Grissom? Yes, it was. She loved Eric. She couldn't love two people. It was like cheating. No, it's only for business, she told herself over and over on her drive to the diner.

He was already there by the time she got there. Taking a place across from him, she sat down only to find the waiter waiting for her order. After hastily ordering, she turned her attention back to the good-looking man who sat in front of her.

"You had some paperwork?" Sara asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, you um…forgot to mention your emergency contacts."

"Emergency contacts…"

"Yes…" Grissom said encouragingly.

"Shannon."

"Shannon…Sidle?" Grissom asked, filling in the last name.

"Kelly."

"Kelly Sidle?"

"No, Shannon Kelly."

"Oh. Anyone else?" Grissom asked, thinking one person was not many. Then again, he wasn't in a position to judge.

"No, that's it."

"What about your parents?" he wanted to ask. Maybe she's married and Sidle is her new name? At that thought, he looked down at her fingers and relief washed over him. She's not married. But still, he wanted to know who this Shannon was. Pure curiosity. He blamed the scientist in him.

Before the conversation could move forward anymore, Sara's phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, she grew noticeably more excited. Excusing herself from the table, Sara answered the phone and walked towards the doors.

"Shannon." Sara answered, relieved to finally have contact with her again.

A/N Please review. And the secrets start unfolding soon. I'm sorry this is such a short chapter


	3. Chapter 3

"Shannon!" Sara's excitement grew as she realized that she could finally speak to her mother.

"Sara…I…"

"Shannon, I miss you so much." Sara said, almost coming to tears, on the bench in front of the diner.

"I miss you too. Sara, I called to say…that…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For letting you leave and not telling you that no matter what, you will always be my daughter."

Sara's heart was almost too full to answer. "I…thanks."

"And Sara?"

"Yes?"

"Be careful…don't…"

Don't what? Do anything stupid? Reckless? Science-y? Sara wanted her to finish her sentence. To finally find out her mother's secret. To find out why she hated science so much. She had always wanted to know.

"…I just wish I could see you." Shannon finished instead.

"Would you? Would you come and visit? Please? My apartment's small, but I can sleep on the couch," Sara pleaded, asking Shannon what she had hoped to. She really missed her. And maybe, she thought, maybe I can change her mind about science if she's here.

"I…guess I could. Whenever you want me, I can come."

"In...a few days? Wait…is that too soon?"

"No, I can be there by Tuesday. What hotel is the best out of the ones on the Strip?"

"Stay with me."

"I don't want you to have to sleep on the couch because of me. Plus I plan on…staying for awhile…if that's…alright with you?"

"Yes!"

Sara couldn't believe it. Shannon was coming. It was the last thing she needed here in Vegas to make life what it was again.

"That's…That's fine. You might like the…Bellagio…or…I don't know, I haven't been here very long."

"That's fine, I'll find somewhere and let you know."

"Mom?"

"Yes, Sara?"

"Thanks. For coming out here I mean. I know you don't like that I'm a scientist and all, but thanks."

"Sara, I may hate science with all my might, and for good reason, but I love you more. My love for you is more important than my hatred for science. I have my reasons, but Sara, just promise me that if I say something you might disapprove of, hear my side of the story?"

It was an odd request. But it sounded as if she was willing to tell her about the mystery that surrounded Sara's life, so she agreed.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too, Sara. I'll see you Tuesday."

Grissom's heart rate sped up when he saw that she was walking back towards the table.

"Hey."

"Hey." Sara replied with a bright smile. She was obviously happier now than she was a few moments ago.

"So, uh…Sara…I hoped that maybe…we could…talk?"

"Sure, what about?"

"Whatever. I just wanted…to…get to know you."

"Oh, uh, well, there's nothing that interesting about me."

"I find you very interesting…," Grissom countered, hoping he didn't sound too much like the social outcast he was. "So, how about…Why did you become a CSI?" he offered.

"I…wanted to…prove that science is good." Sara admitted, not too sure why, when she had never told anyone anything about it before. He just had this—trustworthy-feel to him. Like a warm glow. It was something she couldn't quite describe.

"Why wouldn't it be good?" Grissom asked with surprise. "There's nothing that makes science bad."

"My…mother never approved of it."

"Your mother? What's your mother's name?"

No. That's classified information. Sara's mind fought. He has no right to know about my past. No. He has every right to know. He's my boss. If something ever happened to me he needs to know that Shannon is indeed my mother.

Like devils and angels on her shoulders, Sara's mind fought back and forth whether to tell him the truth or not.

Yes, tell him. You want to be friends don't you? Friends tell each other things. It's not like being friends betrays your promise. And plus, Shannon's coming to town in a few days. How are you going to introduce her to him? Wouldn't it be easier to tell the truth now, rather than hide in a million lies?

No. don't you dare tell him! Sara's left, her devil side, discouraged. He has no right to know what no one else does. You don't want to be friends. You want to be his lover. You would be betraying Eric. How could you break your promise to him and to yourself? Telling him would only bring him closer to you and further from Eric. Tell him Shannon is your cousin, your aunt, your sister for all who cares. She's not that much older than you. She adopted you young, remember? What could one more lie do added to your pile?

Her head spun back and forth, until Sara decided to tell him the truth. But not the whole truth. It wouldn't be lying if she didn't give details.

"Shannon. Her name is Shannon. She's coming to visit Tuesday, if you would like to meet her."

"Oh, that nice. Does she have somewhere to stay?"

"She's going to be at one of the hotels, I'm not sure which one."

"Oh, okay. I…uh, can't wait to meet her. If she's anything like you, she must be a great woman." Grissom said warmly, trying to keep his curiosity low. Shannon…Shannon Kelly? Could they be the same? Why don't they have the same last name? Why does she hate science and yet her daughter in the field?

"Thanks. Yes, I like to think so…"

"Sara…" Grissom started, but was interrupted by his phone. He looked at the caller ID to see

'Jim Brass.' Damn it, what horrible timing!

"It's okay. Go ahead. I'll take care of the bill. You just owe me dinner." Sara said with a smile.

It was an excuse to be alone with him again. She wouldn't admit it aloud, but the Sara on the left was right. She wanted more. But the Sara on the right told her that friends didn't betray their promises. Lovers did. As long as nothing happened, it was alright.

Grissom walked out of the diner, his head spinning. As far as he was concerned, it had been a success. She would have dinner with him later, was all his brain could wrap around. He knew it. As much as he thought it was impossible, it had happened. He had fallen head over heels for her. But unlike the other times, this time was different. She was a scientist. She understood him. He wasn't afraid of her.

Monday night, Sara was buzzing with joy. Shannon's flight came in the morning, and she was meeting her at the lab. She couldn't wait to see her. She couldn't even believe that Shannon actually agreed to meet her at the lab. She guessed it was because Shannon still felt bad about the whole leaving thing. But it didn't matter, she was coming here, in a few hours!

The end of shift was torturously slow in coming, and Grissom could see that Sara was getting anxious.

"Sara, why don't you go and log in the last of the evidence."

"Sure," she said, happy to do anything to make time go faster.

It took longer than she thought because Hodges, from Trace, wouldn't shut up. By the time he finished, she could already see Shannon was waiting by the front desk. She rushed to the end of the hall, but stopped short so she could catch her breath.

"Hey Catherine!" Nick called to the vibrant-looking blonde with her back turned to Shannon. Catherine turned around and focused on her coworker.

"You forgot your phone in the layout room."

"Thanks." Catherine reached for her phone and turned back around. But this time, as she tried to turn around, something stopped her. A voice. One that Catherine recognized.

"Catie." The one word sentence was not a question, but more of a surprised, out-of-breath whisper, which came from the blonde, hazel-eyed, woman standing alone in the reception area.

"Catie," Shannon repeated in a slightly louder tone. She couldn't believe it. It couldn't be…after all these years!

"I…I'm sorry." Shannon turned and fled back to the parking lot, leaving everyone else behind her.

A/N See, now we're getting somewhere. As I promised, it's longer. So review, Please!


	4. Chapter 4

"Catie?" Nick repeated in the form of a question. "She must be confused, there's no Catie here. Right, Cath?" When he received no response from Catherine, he asked, "Catherine, you all right?" When Nick still got no response, he walked toward Sara, who was still standing shocked at the lab entrance.

"Sara, do you know her?"

"Yeah, that would be my mother."

"Never would have guessed. The resemblance just isn't there. Oh well, catch you tomorrow, alright?" Nick finished casually.

"Yeah. See you then," the confused Sara replied, not putting much thought into the conversation.

Walking slowly to her only female coworker, Sara stopped in front of her. "You know each other?"

"Yeah, a lifetime ago, I did." Catherine turned to walk back to her office.

Sara desperately wanted to go after Catherine. Find out how her mother and her coworker were linked. But she knew she had to go after her mother. Shannon was obviously upset about something. And most of all, she was more important.

"Shannon!" Sara yelled while running through the parking lot. "Mom, are you okay?" she asked, switching titles as she drew closer.

"Sara, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come."

"Why not?"

"I shouldn't be here Sara. I…Can we go?"

"Sure…but…are you alright?"

"Yeah, just…the further away we get from here, the better."

With Sara taking the passenger seat, the two rode in silence to lunch. Even as a young foster child, Sara had never experienced such a silence with her. Throughout the meal, Sara noticed Shannon paid more attention to her sandwich than to anything else.

Sara finally decided to break the silence. "Shannon?"

Looking up, she answered with a, "Hm?"

"How do you know Catherine?"

"It's a long story. I'd rather not get into it now."

"Then would you mind if I asked Catherine?" Sara asked, not meaning to be a snoop, but with anything connected to her mother's past, she desperately wanted to know.

"I…" Shannon desperately wanted to say no. "Sure. Even if I say no, I know that your curiosity will make you ask anyway. Just remember the promise you gave me. And, be careful. I'm sure Catie…Catherine won't enjoy the discussion either."

After that, Shannon looked hurt and Sara decided that it was best not to bring up the subject again. Instead, Sara took Shannon on a tour of Vegas, which she was sure the Shannon enjoyed. But the sad, lost, look in her eyes was still there. It was nearly the time she had to go back to work, so Sara decided to at least get a few hours of sleep in. Dropping her off, Shannon took note of her apartment address and told Sara to call her tomorrow so that they could get together. Sara nodded and fell asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.

When she woke, she found that she was more tired than she was earlier. Either way she made a cup of coffee and left for the lab. She was determined to get there early, just in case Catherine was there. And for the first time she was lucky. Catherine was in her office, staring at her own cup of coffee.

"You're here early." Sara said, sliding into the small room and closing the door.

"So are you." The blonde countered, not even bothering to look up.

"But the thing is, I'm always here early." It was the truth. Every day she arrived early because Grissom did, though she would never admit it.

"I think it's more like I'm here late. I never left." Catherine said. Sara took note of her different clothes and figured they were her spare ones from her locker. "I bet I know why you're here. You're here to tell me that Shannon told you about me and…"

"Actually, I'm here for the opposite reason," Sara said quickly. "Shannon never told me anything about her past, so I'm curious to know how you knew each other, and whether or not you could tell me why she hates science so much."

"She didn't always. She used to love it, even though science took away everything she had." Catherine still stared into her empty cup of coffee.

Sara sat across from Catherine with her jaw dropped and a completely shocked face. It was almost impossible to believe. Shannon, the hater of science, used to love what she now hates?

"At any other time, I would laugh at your expression, Sara." Catherine said, gazing up at her for the first time. "Since you're here to find out about how we know each other, I'll tell you our story. But I'll leave the rest of her past for her. I have no place telling her secrets, though I would have good reason to."

Sara became like a child listening to her favorite story. She sat with eyes and all attention on her coworker.

"I guess the story starts with us meeting. Our families were close friends with each other; therefore we saw each other a lot. Shannon was a few years older than me, but that didn't stop us being the best of friends."

_So they didn't just know each other, they were best friends. Yet, I wonder why she never mentioned Catherine before._ Sara wondered, not asking in fear of interrupting the story.

"From elementary school to high school we were inseparable. College came and we both became classmates again, studying to become CSIs."

_Shannon? A CSI? No way._

"Shannon was everything I wanted to be; smart, pretty, popular. All the guys wanted her. Well, all the guys worth noting, as the guys who wanted me were all nerds who had nothing better to do but dream. One of Shannon's followers, his name was Mark, became really close to us. Like a third best friend. The only thing was, the more time I spent with him, the more I fell in love with him. He had the most gorgeous blue eyes and the cutest smile. Of course, he was closer to Shannon's age than mine, but still...After awhile, with Shannon's encouragement, I got the courage to ask him out. And to my utter surprise, he accepted. After that it became official, we were boyfriend and girlfriend."

_Wait, didn't Catherine say Mark liked Shannon? Then why did he accept her offer, maybe by follower she meant…friend… _

"It was quite possibly the happiest time I could remember. I had a hot boyfriend, the best friend in the world, and was on my way to having my dream job. And most importantly, for the first time in my life, I felt...important. I felt like I was finally keeping up with Shannon. Like for the first time, she wasn't stooping down to my level, I was moving up to hers. Life couldn't have been better. But everything good always comes to an end."

_I have a bad feeling about this story._ Sara thought, hoping she was wrong.

"After school, I was supposed to stay after and work on this lab, but I forgot my notebook, with all the information in it, at the dorm room I shared with Shannon."

_Oh no. Shannon wouldn't. Would she? _

"I unlocked the door and went in to find two half-naked people making out on Shannon's bed. Neither had noticed me yet, and I stood there, stock still and watched as my boyfriend made out with my best friend."

_No. Shannon would never! _

"Eventually, Shannon saw me, thank goodness before the rest of the clothes came off. Mark took notice of me soon afterward too. It was like time froze, because nobody moved for at least a couple of minutes. But after the shock wore off, I took off. I sat alone and cried. You probably never noticed, but there's a scar on my wrist. It was from that night. I slit my wrist in hopes of escape from the ugly truth. And I almost did. But, before I could bleed out, I wrapped my wrist and kept myself from losing too much blood. The cut was too shallow anyway. I didn't want to die, I was just so hurt."

_I noticed that scar. Nick told me you scraped yourself while hiking in the mountains. I guess that was your cover story._

"Eventually the wound stopped bleeding. I didn't go back to the dorm that night. I never did again, actually. Around midnight, Shannon found me; she had been looking all night.

'Catie, I'm sorry,' she said to me, tears falling down her own cheeks.

'So am I.' I replied.

'Let me explain.'

'There's nothing to explain. I'm leaving.' I told her, even though I hadn't a clue as to where I was going to go.

Noticing my wrist, Shannon cried harder. 'Catie, please tell me you didn't.'

'I did. But it's fine now.' I didn't really want to talk to her anymore so I turned and left. Walked to my car. I hadn't taken it earlier because I guess I was waiting to say goodbye, even though the circumstances were pretty bad.

'Catie, please don't go!' Shannon chased after me. When she almost reached me I spun around.

'I hate you! I thought we were friends!' My anger began to unleash onto my former friend.

'We are!' Shannon cried back to me. She almost had me. I almost stayed. But I couldn't.

'If there's any part of you that is still my friend, you'll let me leave. You'll let me go and never see me again. I hate you. I trusted you. I thought that these last 18 years meant something to you. I guess I was wrong. Goodbye.'

And those were the last words I said to her.

"I…never would have guessed," Sara said, still taking in all the information.

"It's not something I like to remember."

"What happened to Mark?"

"He finished his studies and became a great doctor. I became a CSI, and Shannon, well you know that part."

Sara was at a loss for words, not knowing what to say at a time like this. A million questions went through her mind, none of which were probably good to ask.

"I guess you're wondering how I can be a CSI and not remember what happened. Truth is, even after Mark betrayed me, I still loved him. What a fool I was. But, it's the reason I took this job."

That had been a question Sara wanted to ask. Now that it was out there, she felt less guilty asking, "How?"

"Mark's younger brother works here…"

"So I know him?"

"Fairly well I should think. Mark's last name was Grissom."

A/N One mystery unlocked, more to go. Please Please Please Review, they make me happy. And I'm going to need that this weekend.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Sorry this took so long, I got caught up in a lot of things.

was splatlurid quimby, I'm sorry, but this is indeed a twisted mystery type story...sorry.

* * *

It was overwhelming. All this information. Sara never would have guessed that her mother's life and her own life were intertwined in more than just the mother-daughter relationship. But Grissom? He was Mark's brother? That was pure shock as well.

"Catherine?" Sara had to ask. "So does that mean you like Grissom?" She said it was the reason she worked here. _It was a fair question, wasn't it?_

"No, Gil is my friend. But yes, when I first came here, I had hoped…I'm not too sure what I hoped for, actually. I guess I just needed to see if it was really true. But they do look alike. They have those same eyes…"

Sara had caught Catherine staring at Grissom before. She figured that it was for a different reason though. Now she knew it was because he reminded her of someone else.

"Did Shannon…did she really just let you go?" Sara asked, feeling disappointed that her mother let years of friendship disappear.

"She tried. She sent me a letter. I never opened it. Actually, I still have it." Catherine gave a sort of bitter laugh at her last sentence. "But I replied. Told her to leave me alone. And she did."

_Once? Shannon only tried once?_ That wasn't the mother she knew.

"But hey, shifts starting. I'd better go." Catherine effectively excused herself and left.

Through the entire shift, Sara couldn't help but stare at Grissom. She kept trying to imagine what Mark must have looked like, what Shannon and Catherine saw. What they went through. And after being distracted to the point where she almost compromised evidence, she decided that she no longer prided in taking after the woman who raised her.

Shannon sat there on the hotel bed, replaying that horrible moment over and over again.

_I promised you, Catie. But even now, your eyes. They blame me. But they should. I couldn't even keep my promise to not look for you. But it was an accident, yesterday. Will you forgive me? I didn't mean to find you. I'm sorry._

Shannon kept apologizing, over and over, until the tears dried up, to a person who wasn't even there. It wasn't until someone knocked on the door that she moved, wiping her face and throwing on some sweats.

Shannon wasn't expecting Sara to show up at her room. In fact, she wasn't entirely sure how Sara had got here. It didn't matter much anymore anyway. By the look on Sara's face, she knew more than she ever wanted her to know.

"I thought I knew you." Sara said with a bitterness in her tone.

"I take it Catherine told you about how horrible a person I am."

"I can't believe you would do something like that! How could you? To your best friend?"

Shannon opened the door wider, letting Sara through. She took residence back on the side of the bed.

"What did she tell you?"

"How she fell in love with this guy and how you had an affair with him. And then let her leave without even trying to make amends."

"Sara, remember that promise you made me?"

"No, I made a promise with my mother. You are not her. I used to be proud to call you my mother. You were someone I looked up to…"

"Sara, at least hear my side of the story." Shannon pleaded, watching the only daughter she had plop on the chair across the room.

"Sara, you have to understand, I never meant…"

"For her to catch you?"

"No, for anything to happen. I'm guessing that Cat…Catherine told you about how we were friends and how we met Mark and everything, so I'll skip that. The day Catherine had to work late in the lab, Mark came over. I had thought he had forgotten about Catherine being late, so I let him in so he could wait for her. But, he had…other intentions.

'She won't know,' he kept telling me."

'No,' I refused, 'I can't. You're Catie's…"

But he insisted, and I insisted, and we butted heads for quite a while. So he didn't say anything more, and he kissed me. And…"

"And you let him?" Sara interrupted, still mad about the matter.

"Yes, I let him. I tried to push him off. But, finally, I gave in, because, you see, even though he was Catherine's boyfriend, and Catherine loved him, the truth was…I fell in love with him too."

"That's no excuse."

"You're right. It's not. But, I loved Catie more than I loved Mark. And as I was trying to stop him and tell him to get out, he was slowly undressing me. I hadn't noticed, because I was too focused on fighting him off. Of course he overpowered me, he was stronger than me. And for one moment, when all my energy seemed to have left me and his weight was more than I could push off, I gave in. Yes, I betrayed Catherine. For one moment, I let myself imagine what it would be like if we were together, and that's when Catherine walked in."

"You still could have gone after her…"

"I did. I spent the entire day looking for her. And when I finally did, it wasn't pretty. She asked me to leave her alone, and let her go."

"And you did!"

"Yes, I did. Because I was so ashamed of what I had done, I figured that she was right. She was better off without me as a friend. I sent her a letter, apologizing, telling her I was sorry and that she had every right to hate me. And she sent a letter back."

_Shannon,_

_Stop. I know you're sorry. I'm sorry too. Stay away from me. Please. Don't contact me, don't look for me, and don't find me. That, is my last wish of our time together. I trusted you. I thought I knew you. After all those years, I never thought there would come a day when we were so separated. I guess I was wrong. You said our friendship would last forever. But a thing such as forever doesn't really exist. _

_Catherine_

"She signed it 'Catherine.' I guess after that day she never went by Catie again. Now do you understand why I left her? It was the least and only thing I could do."

A/N Happy Veterens day. Please REview. It makes my day.


	6. Chapter 6

Sara now effectively felt like a bitch. It was bad enough she accused someone blindly without hearing their side of the story. It made it worse that the person was her mother.

"Shannon?" Sara asked tentatively.

"Yes?" Shannon said, continuing to stare at the floor, looking down, just as Catherine had done.

"I'm sorry. I still love you."

"It's all right. You were right. I did a horrible thing. Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be if I could take back that moment. I wonder, would she and I be living here together? Still telling each other our secrets and our problems? Still talk to each other, still…"

Well, since they were already talking of the past, might as well dig a little deeper, Sara decided, always the opportunist. "If this never happened, would you still like science?"

The little color that remained in Shannon's face disappeared. A glassy look came to her face. "I don't know Sara, I don't know."

"Catherine said that there were many reasons for you to hate science, but you used to love it anyway. She said that she was the last straw. She never told me what happened; she said she had no right to. But, would you tell me? What makes you hate science so much, especially since you used to love it too?"

Shannon could hardly believe it. After all these years. After all the pain she had put her through. Even after she had betrayed her, Catherine still kept her secrets.

"Sara, just like you have your secrets about your past I have mine. There are certain things that should remain secrets. There are many things I've wanted to know about you, but never found out. Well, at least you have the courage to ask."

"Alright." Sara said, a little put out that her mother wouldn't confide in her. But it was true; there were things she never told Shannon, so it was fair. Maybe, Catherine would tell her. Still, Sara started feeling guilty for digging around in someone else's business, but the scientist in her wouldn't let it go. Curiosity is a powerful thing.

"Would you mind not asking Catherine either?"

Darn, oh well, I can't blame a person for having secrets; I have enough of my own. Sara's plan was rebuffed.

"I confided my secrets in Catherine, just as you did to Eric."

Sara's heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. But that was a different battle.

"And Sara?"

"Yes?"

"When you see Catie again, would you ask her if she forgives me? I broke my promise. I found her."

Sara was pretty sure that Catherine would say it was okay. In fact, why not let the two make amends? Wouldn't that make Shannon happy? Finally getting her best friend back? Just like she imagined?

"Would you like to? I could, uh take you to meet up with her. She and some of the others are at the diner."

"No, I can't. I told her that I wouldn't find her or see her. I can't again. Not until she asks. It would be breaking the promise yet again."

"Oh…okay, I understand. Would you like to get something to eat?"

"I'll pass. I need to think."

"Um, okay, how about dinner then?"

"That would be nice."

Sara left Shannon, giving her some space. She decided to meet up with the others at the diner. If she was going to reunite the two, she wanted to do it fast. She was eager to see the two become friends again.

"So Catherine, who was that woman at the lab the other day?" Nick asked. "I mean, I know it was Sara's mom, but you two seemed to know each other."

"Wait. Sara's mom's in town? Why didn't she tell us? And more importantly, why haven't we met her?" Greg said with a mouthful of eggs.

"Don't interrupt." Nick said, cutting the youngest CSI off. "So? Do you know each other?"

"I…Yes, we did…in a way…"

"Wait, Sara's mom and Cath? No way. So like, you're Sara's aunt?" Greg was still not getting the whole 'be quiet' thing.

"Shut up, Greg." Nick threw a sugar packet at him.

"Sorry," Greg muttered under his breath.

"She called you Catie. I didn't know you went by that. Do we get to too? You know, since we're family and all."

"No. I don't go by that." Catherine said, going back to looking at her plate.

"But you used too. What, was that your old pet name? Catie, Catie, Catie, I think it's kind of cute." Greg said in a singsong voice.

"Don't call me that!" Catherine almost yelled, standing up and slamming her fists on the table. The forks still rattled on the plates when Sara walked up.

"Hey, Cath? Can I steal you for a minute?" Sara asked.

"Yeah." Catherine and Sara walked out of the diner. About halfway en route, Greg could be heard saying "Bye Catie." Catherine turned, just long enough to flip him off.

"Hey, um, I'm here to tell you that Shannon says she's sorry."

"I…"

"For finding you. She said she broke her last promise to you, and that it was an accident." Sara hastily added as an afterthought. "Oh, and that she says she won't see you again. At least, not until you say it's okay…"

Catherine remained silent. No, she was no longer angry at Shannon, now she had honored her last request. Even after all these years.

"Catherine? I…well, I think Shannon would really like it if…maybe you guys could be friends again."

"Tell her I say that I think it's time to leave the past behind us." Catherine looked as if she were a million miles away. But the smile on her face told that she was at least partly here.

"You know, I never went by that name again. In fact, Shannon and Mark were the only ones I allowed to call me by that. I figured if I ditched the name, I would ditch the past too. But I guess you can't lose your past. It always finds a way to come back."

"It's what makes you human." Sara replied, saying the only thing she could think of at Catherine's sudden revelation.

"Mmm." Catherine nodded, slowly snapping out of her trance.

"Hey, Cath?"

"Yes?"

"How about Grissom? Did he ever call you Catie? You know, when you were younger?"

"No. He doesn't know. Mark only told him about a Catie Flynn. Not a Catherine Willows."

A/N Once again, please review. Please?


	7. Chapter 7

That night, Grissom approached Sara, who was staring at the ground.

"Hey."

"Oh, hey." Sara looked up to make eye contact.

"So I was wondering, do you have any plans? I owe you a dinner."

"Oh uh, well, my mother's in town…"

"That's great! She can join us. I can't wait to finally meet her." Grissom was excited. Yes, he admitted to falling in love with Sara at first sight. Just trying to get her to return the feeling…this was a hard task for…well…someone like him. A social misfit.

"I…" Sara was unsure about what to do. Would it be a good thing? To introduce her mother to Grissom? The brother of the man that hurt her? Catherine said they had the same eyes. Would Shannon recognize them too? They couldn't look too much alike, could they? Maybe…if she didn't mention his last name it would be all right.

Grissom looked at Sara curiously, wondering if she was declining.

"Under one condition."

"Name it." Grissom was ready for this challenge.

"You introduce and go by your first name only. Gil. No more Grissom."

This shocked him. Only about 3 or 4 people in the lab called him Gil, and that was only on occasion. But it was a simple enough request, so he accepted it, excited for the night.

Sara had driven over to Shannon's room and was already on the bed, talking to her mother.

"Hey, uh, would you like to do dinner?" Sara asked her mom during a silence.

"Sure. Where?"

"I'm not too sure…it's with my boss and he's choosing the place."

"I guess this means I have to make a good impression, huh? Make him fall in love with us?" Shannon asked lightly, regaining some of her humor. Sara decided just to laugh along and hope that everything went without any problems.

Grissom texted Sara, telling her to meet him at an Italian restaurant neither had heard of. After much debate about what to wear, a little trouble finding the place, and then finding the parking spot, mother and daughter walked to the front of the restaurant.

This is where Sara crossed her fingers and hoped nothing bad happens.

Sara led the way, walking through the sliding double doors, looking for her boss. She found him in the far corner. Shannon, following close behind Sara stopped suddenly, frozen. Sara turned around to see what the problem was. She saw Shannon's eyes locked onto that of Grissom's.

Shit, she thought, They do look alike.

"You." Shannon whispered.

Grissom, hearing Shannon, stood up to meet her.

"You. You bastard." Shannon confronted.

Grissom, hearing the insult, looked confused. It was only when Sara raised an eyebrow at him that he introduced himself.

"I think you're confused, Ms. Kelly. My name is…"

"Mark. What the hell are you doing here?" Shannon finished his sentence and countered with her own question.

Now Grissom was really confused. How the hell did she know the name of his brother? I mean, yes, they looked a little alike, but hardly anyone knew that he had a brother.

"No. My name is Gil."

Gil. The name had to sink in a little bit before Shannon would stop glaring. But even after she stopped the glaring, she continued to stare at him. Lost in the past.

"Sorry…Gil," Sara told him. "You just…remind her of someone in her past."

"Sara…she called me by…"

"Let's…talk about it later."

The meal went by smoothly after that. Grissom was truly enjoying himself. He could hardly believe that the woman in front of him could hate science so much. She seemed so pleasant and intrigued by his job. But the way she stared at him. It was as if she was trying to read something. But there was something in her face. Something vaguely familiar.

After paying, Shannon excused herself, saying that it was time she left, and unlike them she actually slept at night.

Alone, Sara and Grissom went for a walk around a park that Sara didn't know even existed.

"It's easy to overlook things you're not looking for." Grissom said.

"It's pretty. It's hard to believe I could miss something this beautiful." Sara said, admiring the greenness of the grass and the colors of the flowers.

"Beauty is hard to find these days. So when you find someone beautiful in every way, you should try your best to hold on to them."

"Have you found someone?"

"Yes."

Sara didn't know why she felt her heart sink when he said this. She shouldn't feel this. No, her heart belonged to Eric. She shouldn't love another man too. No, you can't love two people.

"I found someone perfect in every way. In my eyes that is." Grissom finished. "Have you found someone?"

"I did. But I let him slip through my fingers."

"What was his name?"

"That…" Is once again classified information. Sara didn't…no..couldn't. This man. He already knew more about her than she allowed most people. Why? Why did she tell him so much?

"If you tell me, I'll tell you." Grissom persuaded.

Sara's heart tugged at her chest. The feeling of falling in love with someone. She knew this feeling. It had happened once before. She never thought she would feel it again. She wanted to know. Who was his perfect person?

"His name was…Eric. Eric Ellwood." There, it was out. What harm could it be? If he knows just a name?

No it couldn't be! Grissom's head started to spin.

"Yours?"

"Uh…Well…you." Grissom thought, being less smooth than he had imagined a few seconds ago. But that didn't matter anymore. Eric Ellwood. He knew that name.

A/N My apologies to everyone for the horribly long time, it's been a long month. Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving


	8. Chapter 8

The night passed quickly and uneventfully, not like Grissom had planned it. He had planned a beautiful night in which he got to know Sara and hopefully arrange another date night. By the time he arrived home, Grissom still had yet to awake from a state of shock.

Eric Ellwood? He was like a son to him.

Grissom had always liked teaching. Even if it was as simple as passing his knowledge to one person. Eric had come to him young and with little experience. Straight out of college, Eric had joined his team before he arrived in Vegas. In fact, he wasn't even a supervisor then, just a veteran CSI.

Eric was bright. Literally. He had this shining aura that made everyone around him smile. He was smart. Caught on quickly. Grissom became fond of this boy and soon became closer to Eric than he had with anybody in a long time. They made such a good team that nearly every tough case was given to them.

"Why did you become a CSI, Eric? With your brains you could have become…well, anything. I'm not saying this isn't a rewarding job, but you could be making a lot more…" Grissom recalled a conversation they shared one day.

"Well…I found someone beautiful. She's perfect in every way, in my eyes. And I promised to protect her. So I will."

"What's her name? Your beauty."

"Her name? Well, that's my secret. I don't need you stealing my beauty, now do I?" Eric joked, avoiding the question. "Just, when you find someone who is your beauty, don't let them go."

Yes, he had stolen Eric's words. But it was his words that kept him alive.

That talk was long ago. It had been after a really hard case, about a rape, Grissom recollected.

"Eric? Remember you said you do this to protect someone beautiful?"

"Yes. I still am."

"Where is she? Did she die?"

"No, she's alive. But…"

"But…?"

"I'm not sure she loves me too."

"What do you mean?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Yes."

"I never told anyone this before."

"To my grave."

"Well, when I was young, I lived in the foster care system. After a while there, I met this vibrant, young, beautiful girl. For years we lived at the same place. And over the years, I fell in love with her."

Grissom raised an eyebrow.

"I know what you're thinking. I was too young to love someone at that age. But you must realize that I stayed there until I was about 18 and she was 16. She was adopted then at 16, by a lady who lived nearby. But I was 18, which meant that the foster system couldn't take me anymore. So I had to leave. I got a scholarship to college and was to leave in about a week. But I hadn't told her."

"Why not?" Grissom asked. This was unlike the Eric he had come to know.

"Because I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"A lot of things. Rejection. Separation. Maybe she would forget me, I wouldn't…never mind, back to the story." Eric was hiding something. Grissom could tell. But he let it slide. He never should have.

"So on the day before I left, I talked to her."

'I'm leaving for college soon.' I told her.

'What? You can't. I can't lose you. Why? Stay here. Mother will take you too. I…'

She broke into tears and couldn't stop crying. She fell asleep with tears running down her face. The next morning when I left, I asked her.

'Do you love me? Because I love you. And if you do too, I'll come back. Every chance I get.'

She never answered me. Just stared and watched me go. So I didn't go back. She was younger than me. I figured that if she didn't love me as I did her, then the best thing I could do was let her go. She didn't need me holding her back while she could be happier off with someone else."

"You didn't try and contact her, convince her, anything?" Grissom was in disbelief.

"I did. I wrote to her every week. Called her as often as I could. When she never answered, I figured she was ignoring me for a reason and I was just bothering her."

"You said that you became a CSI to protect your beauty and never to let mine go. I don't get it."

"Grissom, I told you the truth. I became a CSI to protect her. I love her, I still do. Just because she didn't love me back doesn't change that. I made a promise. One I intend to keep. I told you to never let go of a beauty because there's no reason you should make the same mistake I did. I may be younger than you, but I have more experience in the love department than you."

It was true, the words he spoke. Yes, he had girlfriends in the past, but he never really loved them.

"But you said she didn't love you. How was that your mistake?"

"Because I couldn't be the person she wanted or needed. I guess...I think that I let her down."

The rapist soon became a serial rapist. And Eric worked harder than anyone to catch him.

"Eric! You need to slow down!" Grissom yelled at the young man one day after he worked nonstop without even stopping to eat.

"No. I need to catch this guy."

"What good will it do to catch the guy, if you die before we can? No matter how hard you try, evidence can only be processed so fast," Grissom tried to reason.

"You said it yourself. You said some cases are worse than others for some people. That certain ones linger longer in your thoughts, dreams, nightmares. This is mine."

"If you realize this, then why don't you pace yourself? Eat. Sleep. Just like everyone else. This guy only strikes once a month on the full moon. You have until then to panic. Going on like this will likely kill you."

At this point Eric muttered something under his breath. Something along the lines of 'I made a promise…' and a little extra. It wasn't until later that Grissom decoded what he was saying.

Four days of intense stress, worry, and labor later, Eric had a lead on the rapist. But Eric didn't look well. He was paler and weaker. But he wouldn't slow down.

"Eric, no. You need food and sleep. The police have got it covered. We'll have this guy before you know it. You don't need to go."

"I do. You don't understand…"

"I understand that you're sick and need rest. I'll wake you when we bring him in."

Grissom felt guilty. He should never have left Eric by himself. He should have stayed with him. It was his fault.

Grissom was pulling up to the warehouse when he heard shots being fired. The police quickly went into defense mode, walking carefully into the dusty place.

"Officer down!" Shouts came from inside. Grissom ran inside with an eerie feeling gripping him. It was right. Two men lay in their own blood pools. One was the suspect, dead, with a bullet through his heart. The other was Eric.

"Eric! You idiot! Why didn't you stay?" Grissom tried to stop the bleeding.

"You don't understand."

"I do. You made a promise."

"Now have I finally fulfilled it? My promise?"

"Wait…this guy? What does this guy have to do with anything?"

"He has to do with everything...why I became a CSI. He beat her. He would have raped her if I hadn't come...I made a promise. She's safe now...with this guy gone."

"Eric, he would have gotten the death penalty. Why didn't you wait?"

"I couldn't. There was no time." Blood started to come from his mouth.

"No time?"

"Remember that promise you made me? The one you said you'd take to your grave?"

"Yeah…"

"Don't. If you ever find her, tell her she's safe. Sara's safe now." _Sara. There's a million Saras out there,_ Grissom remembered thinking.

"No. You tell her," Grissom urged. "You're going to be alright. You're going to live."

Eric laughed. Well, as much as one can with a bullet in the chest and blood oozing out everywhere.

"No, I'm not. I fulfilled my promise. If you ever…find her…you'll know. She's bright… smart…and beautiful…tell her for me…will you?"

Grissom nodded, not knowing what else to do.

Grissom…you have become the only family I ever knew…I can die…without regrets…" Eric closed his eyes. "Thank you."

After Eric died, an autopsy was done. It was procedure. But it wasn't that he died from the gunshot that surprised Grissom. It was the medical condition that no one knew he had.

"He was dying. He only had about a month left to live." The coroner told Grissom. "Did you know about this?"

"No. How long…had he had this?"

"A good couple of years. He knew he was dying."

It explained a lot. His rush to catch the guy. He remembered how he had muttered something under his breath. "I made a promise. And I have little time to keep it." It all made sense. He had nothing to lose by killing the man.

He knew Eric. And that he was dead. But to find the girl he died for? Out of all the Saras there were to fall in love with! He had fallen in love with Eric's Sara. And she was still searching for him. Eric had been wrong. But Sara didn't know. _Should he tell her? That he was dead? No. Yes. Maybe._

_A/N Slrighty, so it might be a couple days before i can update again, so I apologize before hand just in case. _


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you mean you're leaving?" Sara asked, stricken with shock. They were in Shannon's hotel room.

"I'm coming back. I promise. There's just…something I have to take care of," Shannon insisted.

Upon seeing Sara's doubtful look, she reassured her, "Catherine's coming with me."

"She is?"

"Well, I'm going to ask her to…you said she said it was alright, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm going to ask her. We have a little catching up to do."

"Do you know where she lives? I could come with," Sara offered.

"Thanks. I'd appreciate that," Shannon agreed.

"What is it that you need to do? Do you need help?"

"No, it's just something I do once a year…I'll be back in two to three days."

Sara was curious. As far as she could remember, there was never anything her mom did yearly that was noteworthy enough for a trip back to California.

The ride to Catherine's was rather short. Since it was the middle of the day, Sara hoped that her coworker wasn't sleeping.

_Ring_. Sara rang the doorbell. _Ring Ring Ring_. She rang again and again just because she knew that if Catherine was asleep, this would be some fun.

"What the hell are you doing?" Catherine yelled as she opened the door, sleepy-looking and in her PJ's.

"I thought the doorbell was broken again." Sara said, all too innocently.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you deaf? You could hear the doorbell from down the block!" Catherine wasn't too happy. Unlike Sara, she needed more than a few hours of sleep. Shannon was smiling behind Sara. Apparently, the two had a mini-war going on.

"What are you here for, anyways?" Catherine finally opened the door wide enough for the other two to follow her in. It was obvious she had been sleeping on the couch before they arrived.

"I'm not too sure…" Sara replied, enjoying the evil glint in Catherine's eye. She knew she would pay for this one of these days, but until then there was always Greg there to vent the blonde's anger at work.

"So you woke me up…in the middle of the day…for NOTHING?"

"Not quite. There's a purpose for our visit, Sara just doesn't know it." Shannon put in before her friend strangled her daughter. Sara nodded vigorously in agreement.

"And that is?" Catherine sounded a little nicer.

"Can I talk to you in private for a moment?" Shannon asked.

Sara, knew there was a reason for the secrecy but still felt a little disappointed by the fact that she wasn't going to hear it. However, she was a grown woman, and resisted the urge to follow the two older women to eavesdrop.

"So, what is it, Shannon?" Catherine asked, once they were in her bedroom and effectively alone.

"I was uh…wondering…if you would mind…coming to California with me. Only for a few days."

"I…have work…" Catherine said reluctantly, feeling saddened to have to decline. She honestly wanted to go, but she couldn't.

"You can't get off?"

"I don't know. When do you leave?"

"Tonight. I'm sorry. It's short notice, I know."

"It's not just that…I have…a daughter."

Shannon took it as big news.

"It seems we do have a lot of catching up to do."

"It seems so. Why can't you stay for awhile longer?"

"I'm coming back…there's just something I have to attend to first."

Catherine was perplexed. What could possibly be so important to make a trip back to California? Then it dawned on her. _Tomorrow. She always went back on the same day. And it was tomorrow._

"I…I'll go. I'll just pull a few favors."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It'll be just like old times, huh? You, me, and bit of ol' California."

"Thanks. It means a lot. That you decided to come," Shannon told her.

"No problem, really."

"Oh, and Catie?"

"Yes?" Catherine instantly decided not to tell her off for using that name.

"I'm sorry. I really was. I still am."

"The past is the past."

What Sara overheard was nothing more than she already knew. Not that she was trying to listen or anything. She just sort of…overheard. What she could gather was that the two of them were going to California for some unknown reason. But it was the reason she wanted to know. Curiosity gnawed at her, wanting to ask questions. But she didn't. She would wait until after the trip…

"Sara!" Catherine yelled.

"Yeah?" Sara had the deer in the headlights look on her face.

"You're babysitting for a couple of days. You can sleep here."

"Wait. What?"

"You owe me a favor. So I'm asking you to babysit."

"Wait. Since when did I owe YOU a favor?"

"Since you woke me up ringing that damn doorbell!" Catherine pointed to the door for emphasis. Shannon was silently laughing behind her, realizing her favor was actually Sara's punishment.

"It's not like you're not getting a vacation out of this or anything." Sara muttered under her breath, barely audibly.

A/N Soory for the long wait guys. Finals and everything. It's short but I'll try to get the next chapter up in a couple of days.


	10. Chapter 10

Grissom's curiosity was burning. He wanted…no, needed to know how Sara knew his brother. Moreover, he needed to know exactly how much Sara knew about Eric's death …if she did at all! He was going to find out. Grissom was determined that dinner tonight would go right this time. After all, there couldn't be anything else in the world that could possibly surprise him now. Then again, in his experience, you should never say that…

Shift was just about to end. Officially, he could leave, since he finished his case hours ago, but he was intent on waiting for Sara to come back from her 419. It was only a few minutes later when he saw her enter the lab. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and she was in a tank top and jeans. In his eyes she was looking hotter than ever. Grissom caught up with her, falling into stride as she made her way to the showers.

"Sara, I was wondering…if you wanted to get something to eat?"

"I…sure. But can I shower first? I learned that though we can't smell it, others tend to." Sara replied with a bright smile.

Grissom blushed slightly at the thought of her in the shower. "Uh…sure…of course…" he stammered, making Sara's smile turn brighter.

"I'll be out in a minute," she said, rushing off.

Grissom smiled to himself. He was going on a date with Sara.

* * *

Shannon and Catherine were already at Shannon's house in California when the rain started to fall.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Catherine asked.

"What?" Shannon asked from her seat on the couch one spot over.

"It can pour rain here, but in Vegas, it will still be as dry as ever."

"I guess so. I never really thought about it."

Their plane had landed just a couple of hours ago, and now that they were in the comfort of home. The two old friends planned to spend the rest of the day catching up. Though they had about 20 years to cover, it seemed they soon ran out of news.

Catherine recounted her tales of Eddie and Lindsey, ending with the divorce. After that, there wasn't anything substantial that had happened, she said.

Shannon also claimed nothing much had happened since they last saw each other. Catherine countered with, "You adopted Sara."

"Yes, I did." Shannon replied.

Catherine began the conversation again after a silence. "What made you quit?" She was as curious as her fellow CSIs.

"Hm?" Shannon didn't seem to understand the change in topic.

"It was me, wasn't it? That turned you away from a career in science? I was the last straw?"

"Yes…I guess in a way, you were."

"I…do you miss it?"

"Science? No. After you left, I spent so much time trying to hate it and avoid it, that I forgot what it was like to love it. I think that…I would love it again, if I got back into it."

"Do you regret it?" Catherine pushed with the questions.

"Yes. Every time I thought about science, I correlated it with misery and pain. I regret that I let something I loved become my nightmare. How about you?"

"Huh?" Now it was Catherine's turn to be confused.

"How did you continue? Become a CSI, and then find a job with a look-alike Mark?"

"I…"

Sensing Catherine's discomfort, Shannon decided it was time to let that conversation drop.

"Come on, we need to go before it gets dark. Hopefully the rain will die down."

"I doubt it." Catherine muttered under her breath, but Shannon heard.

"Sometimes, even the heavens have the right to cry." Shannon spoke to no one in particular.

The two friends left. To drive to the cemetery.

* * *

At dinner, Grissom did the best he could to make light conversation and make sure Sara was enjoying herself. And as corny as it sounds, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, every time she laughed or smiled, he felt himself falling more and more in love with her.

Finally, once in the car, he told her that they needed to talk. Unintentionally he changed the light mood to a tense one, making Sara fear what it was they needed to talk about. Grissom drove her to his town house.

"Do you remember the night when you first introduced me to your mother?" Grissom began, handing her a bottle of water before sitting next to her.

It was the same day she had told him about Eric. Not knowing what to say, she nodded and hoped that the questions wouldn't become too probing.

"Your mother called me Mark," Grissom continued.

"Yeah, you look like him." Sara smiled inwardly at the thought of another man who looked like Grissom. Grissom, though, frowned. Sara took notice.

"You don't like him?" Sara asked, wondering where the frown came from.

"I prefer not to be associated with him," Grissom replied. "Anyway, I was going to ask you how Shannon knew him."

"She knew him in college." Sara answered as vaguely as she could. She understood that certain secrets weren't to be shared; it's what made them secrets. "Why don't you get along with your brother?" Sara countered.

"He was unfaithful." Grissom said in a disapproving voice.

"How?" Sara probed, as she wanted to know exactly how much he knew about this.

"He cheated on his girlfriend." Grissom looked disgusted. "You know, I always looked up to him. It's a sad day when your hero turns out to be the villain."

Sara nodded, not knowing what to say. Fortunately for her, Grissom started speaking again.

"It's funny. But I was friends with all of my brother's friends. So when you say your mother knew him in college…"

Sara was frantic. She knew that if she added any information, he would make the connection. And if he did, that would mean Catherine's story would surface too. She hastily tried to change the topic.

"What was it like?"

"What was what like?" Grissom sounded confused.

"Moving to a whole new state after college. Not knowing what it was like, what the people were like, what the lab was like." Sara made up questions on the spot. Unknowingly, Sara just transitioned herself to Grissom's next point of interest.

"It was scary. But I met great people…one in particular." Grissom was trying to sound as if it were just casual conversation. In reality, he was looking for any signs of recognition in his story.

"I meet this charming young man a few years in. He was young, smart, and a really fast driver. We became good friends."

"That must have been nice."

"It was. He taught me in areas I knew least about. But…he was obsessive."

Sara looked a little concerned.

"Not in a bad way," he quickly amended. "But there was this one case that really got to him. He spent weeks awake, trying to find the guy. He said he needed to bring justice for someone he loved."

Grissom looked at Sara carefully. There was zero look of recognition on her face. Based on that, Grissom was almost positive that Sara didn't know about Eric's fate.

"What happened to him?" Sara asked, not liking the gap in the ending. "Where is he? Did he move?"

"No. He died. After he killed the man, he was shot."

"Oh…I'm sorry." Sara didn't know what else to say.

"He was a good man."

"What was his name?" Sara asked, wondering if maybe his picture was on the lab's wall of honor.

Grissom didn't answer. Inside his brain was in panic mode. What to tell her? The truth? That her great love was dead?

"What was his name?" Sara asked again.

A/N Next chapter reveals some mysteries. Please review


	11. Chapter 11

Shannon drove silently to the graveyard. Catherine sat next to her, just watching her long-lost friend. Once they reached a tree that stopped most the rain from hitting the car, they both got out. Catherine had joined Shannon on her annual trip here a few times before. But those were happier times. Now, she had never seen her friend look so lost.

Carrying flowers, Catherine followed Shannon to the graves.

"Just like tears are lost in the rain, the best of memories are lost in time," Shannon said, looking down on her parents' graves.

"But like the rain, new memories are always formed," Catherine put in as she came up behind Shannon. When the older woman failed to respond, Catherine added, "Science didn't take everything, you know."

"It took everything that matters. It took my mother and father."

_Shannon was 11. She was young, bright, and as always eager to learn. Her parents were chemists at the university. She was helping her mother and father in their lab, well, as much as a little girl could. _

_Her parents' love and passion for science had taught her to love it too. She loved discovering new things and how they happened. She loved helping her father mix chemicals and making harmless things like chalk. She was amazed at how two things, completely different, could produce something unexpected._

_It was a Sunday. She was labeling chemicals for her mother's class the next day. Young Shannon was completely absorbed in the task, concentrating on making her handwriting perfect. That ensured that the older kids could read the labels. But something was off. A slight difference in the air. Of course it was too late to do anything by the time they figured it out._

_Someone left one of the gas lines on from Friday. Over the weekend, the room had filled with the flammable gas. It only took her father trying to light a candle, to cause the entire lab to go up into flames. She was the only survivor from the explosion. She had been lucky, the paramedics said. If she hadn't been so close to the open door, she would have been engulfed too. She and her brother were sent to foster care…_

"It took my brother."

_She was now 16. A sophomore in high school. Life in foster care was horrible. But through it all, she and her brother managed to remain together. It was not commonly done. Usually, siblings were separated over time. One ages out. Or one throws a tantrum and gets thrown out. They don't share a common last name. The system just didn't care. But they managed it. And over the years, she had grown to hate the system._

_But her brother always managed a smile. Telling her about some funny story or another about his day. Always giving her a reason to smile and laugh. Now, as she looked back, she realized it was his good natured personality that she loved the most. Matthew was just starting 6th grade. She recalled smiling at how he declared himself to be all grown up. Like every youth, all he wanted to do was grow up. Be in the same league as the adults. But as adults, all they want is their youth back._

_He was too young to be at the lab during the accident. It was a good thing too, in Shannon's mind. It kept him from having nightmares in the night like she did. It kept him innocent. Not seeing the deaths of the people you love was a blessing. For then, you can't see the details playing over and over again._

_It was highly rare, his condition. His heart needed surgery. It was his only chance to live. She remembered his smile when promising to be okay before he went under. Telling her that afterwards they would go get ice cream. It wasn't okay though. Because the surgeon had a late night that night and wasn't as focused as he could be. He let Matthew go. Another death at the hands of science. _

"It took you."

Chemistry took her parents. Biology took her brother. And many fields of science took away her best friend. Science took everything that mattered most to her.

"And it gave me back." Catherine replied, making her way through the wet grass to Matthew's grave.

"How?"

"Life gave you Sara…"

"And science took her too. Life gave me something to love again, and she left me in order to pursue her dreams of being a scientist."

"But she came back."

"No, I followed her. I wasn't going to lose her to science too."

"But you got her back now. And you have me too."

* * *

"What was his name?" Sara was now more than curious than ever as to whom Grissom's friend was. And the fact he wasn't answering only burned her curiosity further.

"Sara, I'm sorry…" Grissom apologized.

Sara didn't understand what apology was for, though. There was nothing to be sorry for.

"My friend, he was yours too."

Sara continued to look confused.

"He told me I'd know when I saw you. That you were bright, smart, and beautiful," Grissom continued. He could see he was getting somewhere with these words, just not very far. In Sara's mind, she didn't know anyone else she considered a friend who lived in Vegas.

"He kept his promise. After all those years. A promise to his beauty." It was the word beauty that struck Sara. It was what Eric referred to her as when they were young.

"No. It can't be. You're lying," Sara whispered, tears forming in her eyes.

"No, Sara, I'm not. I'm sorry," Grissom said with genuine feeling.

"No. NO! It's not true!" She screamed at him. Sara jumped up and began running for the door. "Why? Why tell me such lies?"

"Sara…" Grissom tried to reach her and calm her, but it was too late. The door slammed, and he was left alone.

Sara sat in the seat of her car with tears in her eyes. Not even starting the car. Just sitting there, confused from all the information. It wasn't true. Eric. He was alive.

A/N Happy holidays to everyone! Please and thanks for reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

It took a grand total of 60 seconds for Grissom to take off after her. Five seconds to stare at the door after she left, ten to stand in shock looking like an idiot, fifteen to get his keys and wallet, twenty to put on his shoes, and another ten to open the door. He didn't have to look far. In fact he didn't even have to look at all. He found Sara in her car, still in his driveway. He walked over to the driver's side and tapped on the window.

Sara heard the tapping on her window. She refused to look up. She knew it was him, and that he was worried, but she couldn't face him. Not now. Eric. She loved him. It was her fault that she lost him. She had never written back. But it wasn't because she didn't love him; it was because she was hurt that he left. For all she knew, he wasn't coming back.

When Sara didn't respond to his constant tapping, Grissom decided that it was time to change tactics. He walked around the back of the car to the passenger side. He opened the unlocked door and sat down next to her.

"Sara."

Sara finally looked up, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I…I'm sorry for your loss," he said, saying the first and only sentence he could think of that even resembled condolence.

"A phrase we're trained to say to people of have lost their loved one," Sara said bitterly, not feeling any better. "I guess until you're the one hearing it, you never realize how little the words actually do."

"I know. Sara, I really am sorry. It's just sometimes…the truth hurts." Grissom was still at a loss for words, so he said whatever he could come up with at the time.

"It's like a dream. Sometimes it's easier just not to wake up. To live in a fantasy world that you create yourself," Sara responded as if in a daze. "Sometimes, it's easier to live in a dream because it turns out that you're actually waking up to a nightmare. It's easier to live in the lies. To live in a world where you control what happens."

"But at some point, everyone has to wake up. To find the strength to face the truth." Grissom turned and could see the hurt written across her face. The way the tears still streamed down her perfect face. And at that moment, all he could think about was trying to comfort her.

"But to find the strength you have to have the strength. I'm not sure I do."

"Sara, I don't know if you knew this, but he died for you. He killed a serial rapist, saying he had a promise to keep."

"He kept his promise even after he thought I moved on…"

"Yes, he did. He loved you Sara."

"Which makes it worse."

"Wait, what?" Grissom had kept up with Sara until now.

"He died thinking he was alone. He died in order to keep a promise that he made. A promise to me. And the entire time, for all he knew, I hated him, I'd forgotten him, moved on."

"Sara…"

"He's been dead this entire time…"

"Sara, he never stopped loving you. And I can tell you never stopped loving him. I know I have nothing to compare to him, but I love you too. And I'm here to tell you that, he died trying to protect you, not so you could feel guilty about his death. He knew what he was doing. He loved you Sara."

Sara heard Grissom's I love you confession. And if she was completely honest with herself, she knew that deep down inside her she had feelings for him too. But she loved Eric also. Was it even possible to love two people? People hear of affairs all of the time, but oftentimes the love factor tends to be missing on one end. How was it right to even like another man, when the one she loved for the greatest part of her life died in order to save her? It seemed so wrong. It seemed so surreal. Her heart loved Eric. Her heart also, if she would ever admit it, loved Grissom. And that is how her heart went to war.

A/N Sorry for the wait. Please leave a review


	13. Chapter 13

"Where is he?" Sara asked, staring intently at the steering wheel of the car.

"What?" Grissom didn't quite understand her meaning.

"He had no family. He had no home. Where was he buried?" Sara asked, looking up and focusing now on the blue eyes before her.

"He…his will told us to bury him at some cemetery in California." Grissom said, not quite recalling the name of the place. He knew it started with a Gr…

"Green Acers?" Sara questioned, hoping that the name would spark a memory. It did.

"Yes, Green Acers…how did you know?"

"It was the name of the local cemetery. I used to drive past it every day."

Sara looked off into space, failing to respond to any of Grissom's questions. It was after the third or fourth "Sara!" that she heard him.

"Hmm?" Sara didn't make eye contact.

"What are you thinking?"

"I…can I have a few days off Grissom? I know I'm new and everything…but…"

"Yeah, I…would you like me to come with you? It's been a while since I've visited him." It was a lie. In truth, Grissom had never visited him because…well he could come up with many excuses. But the only truth in the statement was that it was about time he did.

And there went Sara's heart, tugging in two directions. One half seemed to yell "No!", that this was a time for Eric. To apologize in a way. The other half screamed "yes". If Grissom wanted to come, he could, because he was Eric's friend too. Of course, that half of the heart had other intentions as well.

"Sara, I…know that this must be hard for you…" Grissom began to say.

Yes. It was hard. Eric was one of the few people she trusted in her life. A person whom she leaned on in desperate times. It was as if a part of her was missing now. Like there was a hole in her heart, and it was slowly collapsing. From the inside out.

"…but if you need anything…ever…you can always ask me…"

But there was hope. A small part of herself was sewing that hole up. And as painful as it was, if she let the needle keep on stitching, it the wound would eventually heal.

"…because you may not love me the way I do you, but that doesn't mean I can't help you when you need it."

Again, that confession. Again, she felt her heart yank. But as long as it didn't tear it was okay. Because even with an injured heart at war, she knew, that with a little bit care, a lot of tears, a handful of love, and many hands to hold you up when you fall, any scars left would barely show.

Shannon and Catherine were just about done with their visit. After leaving some flowers on the graves, the two friends left the grassy place. It wasn't a long walk to the entrance. Having died years ago, Shannon's parent's were buried closer to the entrance, and after pulling some strings Matthew was buried beside them. They passed the fountain at the entrance. It was round and shot water through many tiers of marble, letting the water cascade down by the force of gravity. It wasn't anything fantastical. In fact, the only thing that made the fountain unique was the words engraved on the sides.

GREEN ACERS CEMETARY

Climbing into the car, Shannon and Catherine left for the airport. The plane left on time, and by the time it landed Catherine noticed she had a dozen missed calls. Flipping through the numbers she noticed they were all from the same person. She dialed the number and called.

"Hello?"

"Gil?"

"Oh hey Catherine." Grissom replied, a pen in his other hand as he filled out the paperwork that would give Sara and him their vacation time.

"Gil, what the hell was so important that you had to call me a dozen times? Couldn't you have just left a message?"

"I could of, but you're always telling me I need to be more personable, and I figured this is something that shouldn't be done by message."

"Oh? And what would that be?" Catherine's curiosity popped up.

"Do you think you could cover for me…let's say…this shift and tomorrow?"

"I…I guess sure."

"Oh, and Sara will be gone too."

"Wait…what's happening that both of you need to leave?"

"Nothing big, just some…unfinished business that I can't put off any longer."

Catherine couldn't find a response, being too busy trying to think of all the possibilities there could be.

"Oh and is Sara's…mother there?"

"Shannon? Yeah…why?" Catherine looked over to see her friend staring back at her.

"Sara wants to talk to her."

"Okay…" Catherine hadn't a clue as to what's happening when she handed the phone over.

"Yes?" Shannon answered.

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Sure, honey."

"What for?"

"You still have the key?"

"Alright, call me if you need anything."

Shannon hung up the phone and handed it back to its owner.

"Sara wants to stay at the house for a couple of days." Shannon answered automatically. "And no, she didn't say what for."

It took a long flight, a short nap, and a quick drive with a pit stop to get to where she was standing now. Sara hovered over Eric's grave, silently grieving. Grissom stood behind her, staring at the name plate.

_Eric, I finally got here. It's been a long time. But it's worth the wait, I promise you. Because I brought with me a beautiful girl. _

Sara could smell the dampness in the air. The way the ground beneath her meshed under her feet. She put her hand on the letters that spelled ERIC. She lightly caressed the letters that looked as if they had never been touched. She ran her fingers over the headstone that looks as if it never felt the weight of flowers of it. She let her tears fall freely, letting them hit the stone, marking it, giving proof that someone had visited. Standing back up from her kneeling position, she place flowers that they had bought during the pit stop.

Feeling an arm circle around her shoulder, she let herself lean back on Grissom.

"If tears could build a stair case,

And Memories a lane,

I'd climb my way to Heaven,

And bring you home again."

Sara recited a poem she had read long ago.

"My heart still aches in sadness,

And secret Tears will flow,

What it means to lose you,

No one can ever know."

Grissom led Sara away, and slowly the two continued to the fountain that marked the entrance.

Sara, not able to look up walked reading the graves. But one, near the entrance caught her attention. It wasn't the first name that first sparked her notice, but the last. KELLY, it read. But as important as the name was the date under it. The person who was buried beneath the name died on the same date as yesterday. The day Shannon took an annual trip to the cemetery.

A/N A longer chapter. I hope you enjoy


	14. Chapter 14

**WOAH! Long Hiatus, I know, but now I'll try and update regualrly again...TRY! I might be working on a new story instead... Anyways, for all you who have waited, thanks you for putting up with mee. **

**perfectwolf**

* * *

Shannon sat in a local café, her chin resting on her hands. Catherine watched her as she wondered what was happening in her friend's mind.

"Shannon, you okay?" She finally spoke up.

"I'm not sure." Shannon replied, after a long pause. She finally moved from her stationary position in order to look Catherine in the eye. "I never told her, you know."

"Sara?" Catherine took a guess. She could only assume her friend was thinking about her daughter.

"Yeah. She…uh…she's asked, about the science issue. I never told her…I couldn't…"

"Because it hurt too much, right?" Catherine knew her friend too well. They did spend 18ish years together, after all.

"Yes, but…" Shannon answered, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You were going to, weren't you?" Catherine took advantage of the silence. "But something happened."

"Yes. She was in love. With a man named Eric. He…he had died, from a medical condition, I was told."

"And you never told her."

"Yes. I knew it would break her heart. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Keeping a secret?"

"No. Knowing the answer to something she was trying to find, and knowing she would never find it."

"She found it, didn't she? She found out he died." Catherine finally realized the reason for the call earlier.

"Yes. That's why she went back. I know it."

"How'd you find out?"

Shannon reached back far into her memory, only to come short. "I can't remember."

Catherine let the silence continue for a while, content with just watching her friend think. After all these years, she was sure she could still understand Shannon like she did when they were younger. And she was right.

"You need to forgive them you know." Catherine jumped to Shannon's thoughts.

"Hm?" Shannon wasn't sure if she meant her family or…not.

"Everyone who left you."

"I've forgiven you." Shannon replied, not quite following the thought process yet.

"Not just me. You're family, and…Eric."

"I don't understand. They didn't do anything wrong."

"They died. And they left you."

Shannon's eyes grew wide. How could she have…? She hadn't even realized it. That her deep resentment for science, lay mostly in the abandonment she felt. She wasn't mad about how they died, but because they had died. And they had left her, alone. Yes, she hated the doctor who killed her brother, but not science.

"Eric?" Shannon questioned, not understanding why his name was put in there.

"He left Sara. And you knew that if she found out, she would feel the hate you felt."

"It amazes me how you do that Catie. It seems, that you still know me better than I do."

Catherine just nodded. Catie. It was a name she dropped long ago, but, even after all this time, it felt right just to be called that.

* * *

Sara stared at the two graves. One, with two names and the same date. The other, it had only one name. And the date was more recent. It was her family. It had to be. Yesterday's date was engraved in the grave with only one name. It couldn't be a coincidence. It was the family that was taken by science, and those names, they were the answers to all her questions.

"Sara?" Grissom called. Noticing she was lingering.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just…thinking." She replied.

"It's cold outside. Why don't we head to your mom's?"

"Yeah. Let's go." Sara trotted behind him to catch up.

Back at the house, the pair kicked off their shoes and changed to dry clothes. Sara looked at what she considered her home, trying to remember anything that associated Shannon with her past. She walked through the halls, looking at the pictures on the wall. All of them were taken after she had adopted her.

Grissom watched as Sara moved around like she was looking for something.

"You need any help?" He asked, standing up and following her.

"Hm?" She replied, not thinking too much.

"You're looking for something, right?"

"Uh. Yeah." She was surprised he figured it out.

"What are you looking for? Maybe…I could help."

"I'm looking for…a past." She continued her walk to Shannon's room. Everyone kept their secrets somewhere. Might as well start somewhere that she felt closest to.

"Sara. About Eric…" Grissom began after a pause.

"Grissom." Sara turned to face him. "Grissom, it's okay. Even though he's gone…I…I know where he is." She couldn't quite describe how just knowing where he was, knowing that he loved her to the end, and knowing that he was still alive in her heart, she was okay. Was she sad? Yes, of course. But, in a way, she was relieved, because her search had ended. And she still loved him, from the bottom of her heart. But, love worked in funny ways.


End file.
